Love and Hate
by CharmingFamily
Summary: One-shot. AU. James was kidnapped by the Evil Queen, and she cursed him with a different curse. And Snow will do anything to save him.


_I'm sorry for the spelling errors. I'm not very good at writing in first person, but I wanted to make this one-shot from Snow's POV. Well, I hope you like it and please... R & R? I would be very happy to see your comments! :)_

* * *

I hold my baby in my arms. She is looking at me with her blue-green eyes, trying not to close them. I laugh slightly, placing a soft kiss on my daughter's forehead.

"Sleep, my love." I whisper. Emma looks at me with her eyes more tire, and closes them completely. She doesn't open them again, and I can see her breath be very quiet. I walk over to my bed and sit on the edge watching my beautiful daughter. She's the only one who can get me to fill me with peace at this time.

I lift my eyes and see the room completely empty. I shouldn't be here. I should be on the panel, seeking to find solutions for Charming. But while James was gone, Emma started getting more restless than usual. Her nannies can't soothe her crying, so from now on I take care of her. She needs me. But also my husband.

He disappeared two days ago. He went for a ride on his horse and never returned. And yesterday we learned that his captive by the Evil Queen, somewhere where I don't know. And this is consuming me. I'm angry all the time. I'm anxious all the time, except when I'm with my daughter.

Emma with her four months old, I don't know if she understand what is happening, but I know she understands that her father is not here. With Emma have something mutual. I can reassure her, and she can reassure me.

Emma is squirming in my arms, moaning. I look at her and I move my arms a bit to try to calm her. Emma's face becomes calmer and I stop rocking her, to let her rest in peace in my arms. I could leave her in her crib and go to the round table, but I really don't want to leave her. I have a lot of fear that she might disappear as James disappeared. I couldn't stand it... I couldn't bear to lose the two most important people in my life.

And James was out there with the Evil Queen, who knows how. He was able to suffer, and I don't know. I don't know how he is, and that is killing me. I need to know he's okay. I need to embrace him and feel him with me again.

Emma squirming in my arms and I look at her again. Now she's with her eyes open, watching me. I pucker my eyebrows seeing a tear in her forehead. I clean the tear quickly and play one of my cheeks. One is wet, so, I dropped a tear without noticing.

"Mommy's sorry, baby." Emma smiles and I smile gently stroking her head. She yawns and I smile even more. She's perfect. And she reminds me so much at James. And I know I need him with me now. Emma needs him.

"Why do you refuse to sleep, stubborn?" I just smile. Emma begins to play with one of my black curls. She's entertaining, and I allow myself to appreciate her beauty. She has beautiful blue-green eyes. The little hair that she has in her head is blond. So she's blond like her father. _James_. I sigh again remember him. Where is he? How is he? I need him. I can't take this anymore.

"Snow!" Red comes into my room, startles. She stops and I see an apology on her face, thinking that Emma was asleep. I shake my head slightly and she sighs with relief, "I'm sorry for coming this way but... it's important. Very important." I look into her eyes, trying to find the answer. It's not difficult to find it. It's something about James.

"What is it, Red?" I can see her hesitation. She doesn't know how speak, or how to move. I get up still holding Emma in my arms, and Red sighs. "Red!" I say, raising my voice. She has to know that her silence is killing me. Something happened with my Charming and I don't know.

"We have found James." My eyes widen in surprise, I know. Suddenly, I feel a tear on my cheek. And another, and another. Definitely happy's tears. But quickly I react. Red doesn't seem happy. So now I wonder, what state find my husband?

"He's fine, right?" I can barely ask. I have too much afraid of the answer. And if they found him...? I can't even think.

"We don't know. He's unconscious, and we can't wake up him." I despair and I hold to Emma so her little head resting on my shoulder. I can't longer see her face, but I feel her little hand on my chest.

"Where is he?" I start to walk out of my room, quickly. Red is to walk quickly to my side to get my rhythm. I don't know where I'm going, but just know that I must find him.

"He's on the couch of his desk." I quickly down the stairs, yet holding Emma tightly. I hear her complain, so I decelerate my rhythm. Arriving at the gate James's desk, Red opens the door. I go quickly and I see dwarves surround the couch. My heart stops. I feel Emma away from me and turn my head to see Red take her. I let her take my baby and I'm as free not to hold her, I run to the couch. The dwarves are put aside and I can see him.

I walk faster and straining at his side, watching in wonder. He's fine. He's not hurt. I approach my hand to his face and gently caress his cheek. I sob and hide my face in his neck, hugging him tightly. He's breathing and he's fine. And he is with me again.

"Charming... Charming." I whisper, lifting my head to not find his beautiful eyes staring at me. No. He must awake. He must wake up and tell me that everything will be fine. I need to hear his voice. "Charming, please wake up. Please." I pray whispering in his ear. I gently stroke his face and head. "Come on, wake up. I need you. Emma needs you."

I kneel beside his and rose over my head so we are face to face. Maybe he's cursed. I approach at his face and I kiss his lips gently. I walk away and I open my eyes to find him in the same way. He doesn't wake up, and I feel my eyes fill with tears while I begin to hear the heartrending cry of Emma who had begun to have since James had disappeared.

"Sh Emma, it's okay. Your father will be fine." I hear Red tell my baby. But Emma still crying. She needs me... but James...

"It's okay, Snow. We will review him. We'll discover what is wrong with him." I hear Grumpy. It always seems as if he discovered my thoughts. I nod my head slowly and I cherish my husband's face gently.

"Please wake up. I love you." I kiss his forehead hard and get up. I turn and I go to Red, who leaves Emma in my arms. I leave the room rocking Emma. I start to climb the stairs to Emma's room. I approach at her crib, rocking her yet because she still not stops crying. "He will be with you soon, sweetheart. Papa will be fine." As if she needed to hear that, she stops her crying and looks at me with her big eyes. I smile slightly and I kiss her forehead. "I love you." I stay away from her face and I sit in the rocking chair to try to make her sleep.

* * *

Emma recently went to sleep, and I began to immerse myself in my thoughts. He'll be fine? I must believe it. Surely the dwarves discover what he has, and they can find a solution to wake him. I get up and I leave Emma in her crib. I gently kiss her forehead and before covering her with her blanket, I can see her squirm and start moaning.

"Sh, sh..." I whisper caressing her cheek. She stops moving and I smile. I cover her with her blanket and I leave the room carefully. Without hesitation, I quickly go to James's desk.

I go to the desk and not see anyone. I look around, and I despair. Where the hell they took him? I think quickly in a place and I run toward it. Indeed, I thought in the right place. My room.

Upon entering, James is lying in our bed with the dwarves around. I walk toward them and sit next to my husband, taking his hand tightly.

"You found something?" I wonder without removing my eyes from James. He continues in the same way.

"Yes." Grumpy says coldly. I feel in his voice that something bad happens. I turn my head and look into my friend's eyes.

"What happens?" I ask quickly. Grumpy and the other dwarves sighs.

"He is cursed." Grumpy almost whispers. My eyes widen in surprise. I thought that at first, but my kiss wasn't used to waking him. He was cursed and I couldn't wake him with a kiss of true love? That is extremely rare, "We know what kind of curse it is."

"He'll be okay?" I hasten to ask. Grumpy nods his head sadly. I narrow my eyes, I don't understand. Why he look so worried then?

"Snow... I don't know how the Queen did, but... she cursed to him that the people he loved most in his life, from now are the people he hates most in his life. "

I think my heart stopped, or only slowly began to beat. My Charming hate me? No, that couldn't be possible. He surely wakes up and sees me, he would recognize me and we will be fine, the curse would go and we could start looking at Regina again, to imprison her once and for all. Everything will be fine, yeah.

"I don't think it's right that he wakes up and the first thing he sees is you." Doc says. I sigh and I can feel my breathing accelerate. I look back at my husband and touch his face.

"No. Nothing can with us... nothing. He won't hurt me. He could never hurt me."

"The Queen cursed him, Snow."

I lower my head feeling tears in my eyes. I feel my hand being tight, and I raise my head quickly. James is moving his head, and his eyes began to open slowly. I smile without hesitation.

"James..." I whisper, with a big smile on my face. He's waking up at last.

He sighs ending to open his eyes. He looks up and furrows his brow. Finally he looks at me and our eyes connect. I smile, letting out another tear. After two days without knowing how he was, and then one day I found out he was with the Evil Queen, who knows how... is a relief to see his blue eyes again.

"_Snow_..." He whispers and I smile. I knew it. I knew he would see me and the curse would disappear. She can't with us. "_White_." He finished saying and I purse my brow. He never call me Snow White. Never. "You..." I shudder to see his blue eyes. They're not the same eyes as my Charming's eyes. His eyes are full of anger... and hate? Quickly I get up to see that he tries to grab my neck. I know it can't be anything good that. He gets up in a rage and I walk away more looking shockeed and surprised. He tries to hold me but the dwarves manage to grab him.

"No, no, James... is she! It's Snow, you can't hurt her. She's your wife, you love her!" Grumpy yells, trying to reason him. But nothing seems to do reasoning. He's yelling things that I can't understand. My view is cloudy and soon I feel my legs weak. I feel that I can fall right here.

"Snow, come on, let's get out of here. You must get out of here." Red takes my arm and I without even meaning to, I go with her to my room. I can hear the James's screams yet. Slowly, ever cries become more distant, until I blink and I see that I am in Emma's room. I heard the door close and I turn to see Red. "Are you okay?" Red whispers. I open my mouth to speak, but at the moment I can't stand this anymore. I dropped it on the floor and let out my sob. I don't scream, I know that Emma is sleeping in her crib. "Snow..." I feel quickly arms around me. I can see out of the corner of my eye sitting Red beside me. She's holding me. "He'll be fine."

"You've seen him, Red? The hatred in his eyes. He... he was yelling things. He wanted to kill me!" I raise my voice. I hide my face in the neck of my best friend and I cannot stop mourn.

"I know... but we'll find a solution." Red strokes my hair and I sob even more. But my crying is overshadowed by another cry. Emma's crying.

I don't know what to do, I have no strength to bring me up. Red quickly gets up and I trust that she will hold my baby. It's hard to understand. What on earth could make a wicked stepmother to make him hate me? He hates me, he tried to kill me. I can't stand it. I can't bear to see the hatred in his eyes and feel it in his screams.

I can see out of the corner of my eye at Red sitting next to me again. Now, she holds a small body in her arms. It's Emma. I lift my head slowly and I see my little girl with her arms outstretched toward me. I dry my tears and I quickly extension cord for my arms to hold my baby.

I kiss her little head and clung to my body. She needs me strong. Her father is here with us, but at the same time, he's not. He hates me. But soon react to Grumpy's words.

_The people he loved most in his life, from now are the people he hates most in his life._

Oh gods, and if he hates Emma too? Emma! Of course it is impossible that he hates his little princess. He loves Emma more than anything. The love for his daughter surely he be again to reality.

"We must take Emma to him." I lift my head to look at Red, who is clearly surprises and confuses.

"Snow, you're crazy?" She almost screams. I crazy? All I want is James again. I am sure that the love he has for Emma will bring him back to reality. It must be so "We can't take Emma to him. He tried to kill you... who knows what he might do to Emma!"

"It's his daughter, Red! He could never hurt her. It's our daughter. Maybe my stepmother could have put him on me, but not his daughter." I answer firmly. Why she can't understand that he would never hurt Emma?

"You said he could never hurt you." Red tells me watching me firmly. "Please Snow, turn your self. Thinks clearly. You must protect Emma."

"How I could protect Emma from her father?"

"Because now he's not her father. Her father is the person who loves you. And now... he seems to hate you." Red says carefully. I sigh and shake my head.

"At least let him see Emma from afar. To see how he reacts." Red sighs and lowers her head. She meditates for seconds, and looks at me.

"Fine, but you can't see him." I open my eyes greatly surprised and almost offended.

"I have to see him... how you want to take Emma with him?" Red sideways smiles and extends her arms. I shake my head quickly.

"Snow, you can't see him. If he sees you with Emma in your arms, he will try to kill you. And I'm sure he won't mind that Emma was in his way." I sigh and lower my gaze to look at my little baby. She's looking at me and smiling. I smile slightly and kiss her forehead.

"Okay." I get up. Red gets up quickly. "If something happens... please don't hesitate to run with her." Red nods without hesitation. I let her take Emma. Red smiles slightly and leaves the room.

I can't let that happen as well. I need to see how he reacts. I leave the room and continue slowly to Red. She comes into my room, which no longer hear screams. I approach slowly and open the door slightly. I trace my head and I can see a clear picture of everything going on in the room.

"Where is she?" James says. I can feel the anger in his voice.

"She won't be back. We won't let you hurt her." Granny says firmly. I can see Red closer hesitantly.

"Snow believed she could return him to reality." Red whispers to Granny, who denies her head quickly, "I know, I tried to reason with her... but maybe she's right. I won't let him touch her, just let him see her." Granny exchanges glances with Grumpy, who nods his head.

"Okay, just stay away Red." Grumpy whispers to Red, who nods her head. "Well, James... we'll let you see someone."

"Who?" James asks. I see Granny sighs while dwarfs surrounding Red that I know she carries Emma with all her might.

"Remember someone named Emma?" Granny asks. I trace over my head, and I can see James puckering his brow.

"Maybe." James whispers, not convinced. I smile hopefully. I know he remembers _his_ little girl.

Grumpy and Granny looks and both of them nod their heads. The dwarves are scatter a bit and Red takes a step forward. Emma is clutching to Red's body and Red convering with her arms Emma's back.

"That baby is Emma." James says, getting out of bed. I can see Red tense. Why she is tense? James remembers! He's not more cursed! "Snow White's baby."

"What?" Red says the first thing that came to my mind. She's not just my baby. _She's our baby_. She's our little girl. He should remember her.

"She's _HER_ baby!" James yells startling everyone in the room. He pounces on Red, but she quickly gets away and is protectes by the dwarves. Grumpy, Doc and Granny grab James, trying to control him "I do not care that she's a baby because it's her baby, and I'll kill her! I'll kill both of them!"

I walk away I couldn't believe what I just heard. He said he would kill her. He said he would kill his own daughter! He can't kill Emma... she's our girl. Well, Regina accomplished what she did. She made James hated the people he loves most. His daughter and me. His family.

"Snow..." Red says in front of me. I see that she is flashing in front of me, and with Emma crying in her arms, "You have heard it all?"

"I... I can't believe that he also wants to... kill her." Red sighs and quickly I have Emma in my arms. I begin to rock her, trying to calm her.

"He shouldn't even know that she's his daughter, too." I close my eyes, letting a tear slide down my cheek. This may not be possible. He can't hate Emma "I couldn't even explain to him that she's his daughter too... he pulled me over Snow." I nod my head quickly.

"I know, I saw it all."

"I think it will be better that you stay away from him. You and Emma, of course." I nod my head. I can feel Emma resting on my chest. Her breathing is slow and pause. She should be asleep.

"I'll take Emma to her room..." I whisper. I can't get my voice is firm. Not yet.

"I'll go with you." Red says quickly and I shake my head.

"No, stay here. I want to take care of him too. Care of him because I can't do it." I control my voice so it doesn't break. I must be strong. "I'll look after my daughter." Red sadly nods and hugs me gently. "Thank you." I whisper. Red turns away from me and smiles. I smile slightly and she enters the room, again.

I'm going to Emma's room. I put Emma in my arms so that I can see her beautiful face. She sleeps quietly, without worries. She shouldn't even imagine what is happening. Of course, she's four months. But she's a very attentive baby. She's a very spoiled girl, for me and for her father. And now her father doesn't want to see her. She can't know what is happening, but she heard her father scream like never before.

"Okay Emma. You are with Mommy." I kiss her forehead and lean over her crib. I cover her with her little blanket and I see her sleep.

I sob involuntarily. I need to James. Emma needs her father. I must do something. I must do something for him. I must do something for him and for Emma. We are a family, and no one can destroy it. Even Regina. She killed my father. Many times she tried to detach myself from my true love. She poisoned an apple that was supposed to I would not wake up ever, but still I woke and because of James. I quickly remember when I took the potion to forget James. Maybe it's something similar. He doesn't remember his love for me or Emma. He needs to be saved. I must save him. I _will_ save him.

I see Emma sleeping peacefully again. I carefully away and I leave the room slowly. I start walking quickly to my room, where James is. I'm outside the door when I hear the dwarves, Granny and Red talk. James is still screaming. I sigh and slammed the door. Granny is who opens the door.

"Honey, you shouldn't be here." Granny whispers, I think it must be feared that James hears her.

"I think I know what happens. I need see Rumpelstiltskin."

"Rumpelstiltskin? Girl, you're crazy? You can't see him... everything comes a price with him." I nod my head.

"I know, but I need to know what happens to James."

"Okay, I'll go with you." Snow shakes her head quickly.

"No, please... take care of Emma. I try to be as fast as possible." Granny sighs.

"Okay, but be careful girl." I nod my head.

"Thank you." I leave quickly.

* * *

I don't want to use a carriage, so I'll look for my horse. I get on my horse in the stables, and finally feel some peace. Besides the peace I felt with Emma. It relaxes me to be on my horse. But quickly I remember because I'm riding.

Rumpelstiltskin.

I must visit him and find answers. For James. I tap my horse which begins to trot instantly.

I'm almost in the forest when I heard a guard shout.

"It's the King! He got away from his room!" My face falls and I feel my heart stir faster. How could he have escaped? Where would he be now? He'll be looking for me? Or he'll be looking for Emma? Damn, Emma! He hates Emma... he could kill her just for the fact that she's my daughter.

_Damn it, damn it_. My little girl. My husband. I must get to them before James repent all his life for something. I hit on the back of my horse and he starts running at full speed towards the castle. It's like he knows what is happening. I came to the entrance and the guards are surprised to see me lose my horse so quickly.

"Your Majesty..." A guard tries to say, I raise my hand to silence him.

"Where is my husband? Have you found him?" I ask quickly. The guard shakes his head.

"But we're looking for him, Your Majesty, I assure you."

"Yeah, keep looking for him." I run quickly into the castle.

The guards are here and there, looking for James. I run upstairs and head to my room. Gods. The dwarfs, Granny and Red are on the ground, unconscious. What demons he has made them?

"Granny!" I run to Granny when she did start to wake up "You okay? What's happened?"

"He... he pulled out a small bag of magic dust. Where's Red?" Granny looks everywhere. My heart almost stops to hear Emma's cries heartbreaking. I don't know what I'm thinking, but I grab a sword from the corner of my room and I run to my baby's room.

"Emma!" I scream. I enter the room and I can see James near Emma's crib. He is with his arms outstretched. And his eyes are blind by hatred. "Get away from her!" I yell, startling him and making him away a bit of it. I can't believe I have to be pointing to my Charming with my sword.

"Snow White." He drags his words with hatred.

"Look, James... I don't know what Regina told you. I don't know what she did, but I'm your wife. You love me. You're not how much I love you... I could never hurt you." I feel the tears fall into my eyes "But please, don't make me choose between you and my daughter. Our daughter."

"She's not my daughter. You made me believe that all this time, I know! She doesn't deserve to live... that would make you suffer like never before." He takes a step to Emma's crib. I am stun by his words.

_She doesn't deserve to live._

"Get away from her!" I move closer to him, taking my sword firmly "You can't say that she's not your daughter. She's your daughter; she is the reason of your life, James! And if you don't believe all this, how could you be able to kill a baby?! Please!" I scream desperate. I don't want to hurt him. I can't hurt him. But I must protect Emma. And he, although I believe it or not, he will hurt her.

I don't know what happened this time, but James is holding Emma. Emma is crying. Her crying is tearing my heart, but not James's heart. He continues his look of hatred.

"LET HER GO!" I scream desperate and I don't care. I promised and swore I would never let absolutely anyone hurt my little girl. _Nobody_. "If you hurt her, you'll regret of it. I assure you."

He pulls out a small bag and approaches on Emma's head. I don't know what to do. My hand is shaken. Hell, my whole body is shaking. He opens the little bag and he throwing it contains in Emma's head. I don't doubt it.

"NO!" I scream and I place the tip of the sword into James's neck "Let her in her crib." James looks at me with great hatred "Now." I say with all the strength in my voice. He does nothing, so I press my sword against his neck. He moans and I feel my body shaking more and more. He then seconds, leaves Emma in her crib again.

He steps aside my sword. My sword falls to the floor and he takes my arm twisting. I'm back to him and I'm struggling. He is taking me with great force.

"Let me go!" I'm trying to say. He is pressing my neck with his other arm strong "Please... you love me."

"That's not true!" He yells at me, squeezing my neck with more intensity.

"But I love you." I'm trying to say. In a second, he releases me and I drop it on the floor coughing, letting air enter into my lungs.

I can't afford to breathe easy. I get up quickly and put me in front Emma's crib, still coughing. He is taking his head. He seems dazed.

"Charming?" I whisper. He remembers me?

"No... I'm not your Charming!" He pushes me violently. I drop it on the floor and I cannot get up. My foot hurts. I think I bent the foot.

"Please don't hurt her! Please!" I totally desperate cry. I get up slowly. My foot pain is killing me, but I get up.

I can see it closer to the cradle. I approach slowly and resting my foot in pain. He's looking at Emma, with his arms outstretched ready to grab her, but he does nothing. He furrows his brow and he turns to grab his head. He walks away holding his head in pain. He's suffering, but first I must focus on Emma. I can't leave her in her crib alone again. I grab her and hold her to me tightly.

"No... That's not true, not true," He is screaming desperately. Emma is crying heartbreakingly. My foot hurts, and I have really wanted to cry. But I can't. I can't weaken for Emma, and to help James.

"What's not true? Look at me, James! Look at us!" I shout at him. James raises his head and looks at me. His eyes aren't full of hate. They are full of despair, of pain "Please... we're your family. You love us... you can't hurt us."

I can see him examine me up and down. Then, his gaze fixs on Emma. Emma has her back to my chest, so I guess she's looking at her father. James is looking into her eyes. He looks at me in my eyes. I'm praying for him came back.

I need him.

He needs us.

"Snow..." His voice is sweet. His eyes are full of sorrow, but also of love. Even his face has changed "What I've done?" His voice is full of pain.

"Charming..." I whisper with a smile. He walks over to me and I shudder to feel his arms surround me. Me and our little girl.

"I..." He walks away abruptly, taking his head again "I can't control. She..."

"No, take Emma. Take our daughter James, you love her!" James shakes his head quickly.

"No, I can hurt her. No..."

"No, you don't hurt her, you are her father." I put Emma in his arms and he's laying her in his arms.

He is trembling, but he has his eyes on her. He's looking with pain and love. I feel the tears down my cheeks. Tears stream down the cheeks of James too. I stroke his face and I dry one of his tears. He turns his face for looking at me.

"I love you but..." He closes his eyes tightly, he's suffering. "but she has implanted me false memories. You fooled me... you don't love me ... you..."

"I love you, and I will save you." I grab his face hard and I kiss his lips without letting him another second. With my eyes close, I remember almost all things which we live. But mainly I focus on a memory. The memory of the happiest moment of our lives.

The birth of our daughter.

I carefully away and open my eyes expecting to find his beautiful eyes. He opens his eyes slowly. It's him again. I know "Charming?" I smile through tears, even taking his face. He smiles.

"Yeah, it's me." I smile even more and kiss again and again. He corresponds every kiss with love "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry my love." He whispers. I shake my head.

"I love you." I kiss him again.

"You saved me." He says with a smile. I smile and lower my eyes to our daughter. Emma is watching us, and she doesn't cry.

"No..." I raise my head and smiled at me James "we saved you."

"She doesn't even five months, and she's already saved me." James jokes, looking back at Emma. Emma smiles and he kiss her forehead slowly "I'm sorry my little girl. Papa's sorry... I love you." Emma smiles even more and moves her hands.

"So is that what ever is going to do our family? Saving each other?" He laughs briefly and kisses me on the lips.

"And always find each other." Emma cries for attention and we return to see her.

I think my foot still hurts, but I do not care. I have my family back. I have my husband, and I have my daughter. The most important people in my life. And I do not care if we had to do this all our lives, if in the end we always stay together.


End file.
